Many pictures can be painted depending on your understanding of a Courtesan. Perhaps you see a woman of court surrounded by satin and jewels. Maybe you see the talents of a Geisha in an old tea house in Kyoto. Or perhaps you vision the charms and wit of the spirited Holly Golightly. Where ever your mind takes you, you may be wondering how you too can become an artist of companionship.
What it means to become a courtesan
Becoming a companion to your benefactor means more than providing physical companionship. Not that sex always has to be part of the arrangement, though often is. A courtesan needs to be able to stimulate their partner mentally. Often, we become their muse of sorts. Our desires inspire them, and our presence allows them an escape from their world.
Consider the fact that a courtesan’s role is often to create a more enticing life for her benefactor. We become their truest form of escapism. To maintain this means, while in their company, we should always be the best version of ourselves. We are giving life to dreams and desires that aren’t otherwise fulfilled in the life of our benefactor.
The expectations of a Courtesan
A courtesan needs to maintain their physical appearance. A healthy and active lifestyle, alongside well-maintained hair, skin, and nails is the epitome of a desirable woman. We are a representation of the woman that all men desire.
It is expected that we can accommodate our benefactor’s schedule over our own. Flexibility isn’t always achievable depending on the career you have and so is something to consider. Are you ready with your passport at short notice? Often freelance career professionals or those that are based online can be the most flexible.
It is not to say that the needs of your benefactor come before your own, but there may be times where your social meetings need to be rescheduled to accommodate them. You may be tired and not quite in a friendly mood, but this isn’t always an option if you are called upon to accompany your benefactor.
The stigma attached to a Courtesan
The lifestyle of mutually beneficial arrangements isn’t for everyone. Some will see it as glorified prostitution. This is a narrow view of a more complex picture, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. It is also noteworthy to say that some women, and men, do approach ‘sugar dating’ with this mindset. That is why I prefer to use the terms ‘courtesan’ and ‘benefactor’ to describe the roles of those in the relationships that I advocate.
Regardless of whether you live this lifestyle with the correct intention and respect that it should be given, there will be some who will not approve. You should consider whether this part of your life is something you are happy to be public. If not, you could find that discretion may sometimes mean being untruthful with those closest to you. If you feel ashamed of living this lifestyle then it obviously isn’t for you. But, for personal and professional reasons, there is no harm to being selective in who knows your lifestyle.
How to become a Courtesan
Perhaps what you have read has intrigued you enough to become a courtesan, and now you a wandering where to begin. Entering this lifestyle can happen organically of course but you may be waiting some time, an alternative is to use the platforms that are available and designed for arrangements of this kind.
First, reflect upon your suitability to become a courtesan. There is no harm in fine-tuning some of your qualities before embarking on this lifestyle. It is better to present the best version of yourself from the beginning than make mistakes in behaviour and attitude with a potential benefactor. Also, be comfortable in what it is you seek. Articulate your needs confidently and consider where you are happy to make compromises.
Finding a benefactor
Option 1: An organic way to become a courtesan is to make yourself available to the right people in the right places. Attend functions and events (alone) and dressed in a way that makes you open to attention. You can also attend the trendy bars and restaurants in your city and make sure you are approachable. In my honest opinion, this is not the most effective way of finding a potential benefactor. It is impossible to know you are in the company of men able to provide for you in an arrangement. Or that these men even have a desire for a relationship of this kind. It is also not necessarily the most appropriate conversations to start in a public setting.
Option 2: There are online platforms available that allow you to network with individuals who are actively seeking an arrangement. These sites are marketed towards sugar babies/daddies, but the premise is there. It is just a case of being clear in what you are looking for in your profile and connecting with those that have similar intentions. If you are new to mutually beneficial arrangements, you may decide to take on some short-term arrangements to see if this lifestyle suits you. Doing so isn’t a bad idea but do remind yourself of your long-term goals.
Option 2 is the most effective way of finding a benefactor in my opinion and experience. If you have now decided to become a courtesan and want to understand the types of arrangements you can have in more depth, be sure to catch our next article on Mutually Beneficial Arrangements.