We’ve all made eye contact with that one person, either at a party or passing on the street. That man (or woman) who instantly draws you to them. Who raises your body temperature the moment they smile, sending devilish thoughts straight to your mind. But it is quite rare that these instances become something we act on in the moment. Impulsive as we may wish to be, we often approach the situation in a more typically civilised manner. A suggestion of getting to know each other over coffee rather than learning names as pillow talk after sex.
For many of us, a connection, even an instant one, is something we like to build upon over time. An essential aspect of any healthy relationship is sexual chemistry. How our bodies respond to one another in a platonic scenario indicates how compatible you will find yourselves sexually. Sugar dating may move a little faster with its expectations of intimacy. That doesn’t mean sex has to be immediate. Sex comes when you and your benefactor have become comfortable to move forward. Here is some advice when it comes to sex in a mutually beneficial arrangement.
So what are your sexual preferences?
When you are using a platform such as Seeking Arrangement to find potential sugar relationships, there is little need to be shy. Sugar babies and sugar daddies understand the premise of a mutually beneficial arrangement. Or at least they should if they are deciding to enter a sugar dating lifestyle. A question I ask before a meeting is if there are any sexual preferences I should be aware of. What a person enjoys or doesn’t enjoy about sex is entirely individual. You may encounter sugar daddies who are into kink in an arrangement. BDSM may come up, or it could just be vanilla sex. Better to understand what you both enjoy sexually to see if you are compatible before getting more involved.
Terms before intimacy
Every sugar baby knows, or has, a sugar baby with a story where pleasure came before business. Not discussing terms is a mistake that generally happens early on when you enter the sugar bowl. It’s is a mistake to avoid and certainly one to not make more than once! The term mutually beneficial should mean both parties are equally benefiting from the arrangement. Whatever it may be that you are seeking from sugar dating, discuss it openly and honestly before meeting one another. You don’t want to schedule time in your calendar to meet someone and find you aren’t just on different pages, but reading an entirely different book altogether!
Allow time to build rapport in messaging before going straight to the terms of an arrangement. You don’t want to spend too much time on someone who is not a match. But, just as necessary is not to give the wrong impression. There is nothing wrong with being direct. But, be courteous and polite when approaching the topic of expectations in an arrangement, particularly in regards to an allowance.
Waiting to have sex in an arrangement
A mutually beneficial arrangement may not be as conventional as traditional dating. This does not mean you have to do anything before you are ready. To build the right arrangement for you both, you need to have patience and understanding. Start by being open with one another on your expectations of a sugar arrangement. Settle all the details before your first meet and greet. This will allow you to use that first meeting to get to know one another and start building chemistry. I highly advise you to avoid sex on the first meeting, especially if you haven’t had a chance to get to know each other over the phone.
If you are looking for a long-term arrangement, there is nothing wrong with courting one another. For some, sugar dating can seem like a transactional relationship. It is only that by your choosing. Romance, attraction, desire, and seduction are all part of an arrangement. What is most important is how you feel around one another. This will translate to sex so be sure of each other before rushing to the bedroom.
Don’t be complacent about sexual health
You may find yourself having the ‘condom’ conversation. Some sugar daddies will straight up tell you they don’t wish to use one. Others will try to be an opportunist at the moment. Some with play the “oh, i forgot to bring them’ card. First off, you should be carrying condoms yourself when you are in a sexual relationship. Just because the man is the one who wears it, you shouldn’t be complacent about your responsibility to stay safe.
No matter the chemistry, you should consider the fact that you don’t know each other that well. Are you exclusive to one another? The more sexual partners you have, the higher the chance of contracting something you would rather avoid. A fact to be considerate of is that there are sugar daddies who are married. You should be considerate of the sexual health of anyone involved, directly or indirectly, in your sexual arrangement. Regular testing is something I advise whether you are sugar or traditionally dating.
Another consideration is contraception. Are you taking precautions to avoid unwanted mistakes? There are many options out there concerning contraception. Schedule an appointment with your GP to find out which suits you best. If these contraception methods aren’t for you, I would consider getting an ovulation app for your phone. You need to input a few details and the app will tell you when you are ovulating, so you’ll know the safest time in your cycle to be having sex. Most of all, sex is to enjoyed. If it’s not fun, move on.