There are many ingredients that need to blend together for the perfect relationship recipe. Future goals that run parallel to one another, respect and understanding of each others differences, humour that can brighten up each others day. One ingredient that shouldn’t be neglected is sexual compatibility. Sex has as much variety to it as a box of chocolates, bitter, sweet, smooth…you get the picture. Understanding the sexual needs of your partner is sometimes too little too late in a relationship. This is where arrangements should differ.
Being direct about your sexual preferences
In a traditional courtship, sex maybe isn’t on the table until several dates in. The first few dates could be going perfectly, you are laughing together, you get those butterflies when you see each other. Then, you may feel it’s time to move to the bedroom, and the butterflies take on this awkward direction and become so out of sync they end up crashing into one another!
An arrangement, however, tends to be more open in communication about sexual needs, desires, and preferences. This is often down to the general open-mindedness of those who decide to seek arrangements as a dating lifestyle. Also, the men tend to be in a career that doesn’t afford the time necessary for courting the right woman for them.
Having a frank discussion about what your sexual expectations is something I highly encourage. Avoid being offended if the sexual needs of the other are outside of your comfort zone. Arrangements should be approached without judgement; a polite and straightforward decline to the proposed arrangement is all that is needed.
Woman: know your body
You cannot expect a man to fulfil your desires if you are out of tune with your own body. A healthy appetite towards your sexual pleasure should give you more than an indication of what you do and don’t like. Experiment with toys and indulge in fantasies to see where your pleasure, and most importantly, your boundaries lie.
Be confident in discussing your sexual needs with your potential benefactor. As I said earlier, those who seek arrangements are more open-minded than the average individual. Consider how open-minded you are yourself when it comes to trying something new or slightly unconventional.
Vanilla or mixed scoops with a cherry on top
Conventional relationships don’t equate to conventional sex. What happens in anyone’s bedroom is a mystery to those on the outside. But one thing that is quite common in an arrangement is a sex life that is anything but vanilla. Many men go down the ‘arrangement’ route instead of the ‘relationship’ route so that they can find a partner compatible with their alternative sexual needs.
There is the saying that you should try anything once. I don’t wholeheartedly agree. There will be men you will encounter that can open the doors to a sexual life you have never considered. Think about where your comfort levels meet your curiosity. Don’t be afraid to take it slow to build up to the necessary level of trust for some sexual experimentation. At the same time, don’t give false illusions to what you may eventually try and what you know you don’t want to attempt for the sake of entering an arrangement.
A note to the men who may be reading this. Don’t be too forward sexually on your first time together. A conversation is a great place to start learning about each others sexual needs. But this is not a contract. It’s unlikely you will go into depth on every detail. Explore each others bodies, not with hesitation, but with consideration. It can even be sexy to ask your partner if they are enjoying your touch and what they want more of during an intimate encounter. Arrangements should be based on 100% enjoyment of one another.